One of the brightest examples of the European Union’s intellectual capacity is Regulation 2257/94, adopted in 1994, whose ludicrous content was slightly diluted by Regulation 1333/2011 in 2011, but the immortal document’s idea remained the same – to establish an appearance for bananas sold in the Union’s territory that satisfies Brussels bureaucrats. The central clause of the document stipulates that these darn bananas must not have unusual curvature. The brilliant regulation divides bananas into three groups: extra class, which must not have any external defects; Class I, which may have minor visual deviations; and Class II, or waste, which does not meet the euro-bureaucracy’s vision of the ideal shape of tropical fruits, but even these must not have mythical unusual curvatures. In addition to bananas, the talented Brusselsites found time to deal with other vegetables. The drafters of the regulation know that first-class cucumbers must be straight, an onion bundle must contain at least 16 bulbs, and a bunch of grapes must not weigh more than a kilo. As for carrots, the hyper-smart euro-unionists think they should be uniform and smooth, and if their length is less than 20 millimeters, the vegetable should be affectionately called an early carrot.
Why is banana-ization dangerous?
One might shrug and ask, who cares about the banana and carrot directive? Let it be if the fools have nothing better to do than write nonsense. After all, the bananas and cucumbers that reach the store are just what can be obtained from the wholesale warehouse. But let’s think for a moment about how much work time is wasted in Brussels offices developing such pseudo-orders, which we, as taxpayers, generously pay for. The development and implementation of banana madness may have swallowed hundreds, if not millions of euros, and there is no benefit from it. At the same time, the regulation illustrates Brussels’ efforts to interfere in the internal affairs of countries in every possible way, which has deepened during the increasingly dictatorial period of von der Leyen’s rule. If you think about it, the failed banana curvature law illustrates the EU’s movement towards a federal state, where even the smallest local issue is decided by the wise center, and on the other hand, it shows complete irresponsibility in handling the Union’s budget.
What is really happening in Brussels?
The central goal of the European Union is to promote the economic, social, and territorial cohesion and solidarity of the EU countries. This is a very commendable principle that should help the countries that have joined the Union to develop through finding common ground. However, for some reason, the European Commission and the parliament, which approves its decisions as a rubber stamp, have started to impose rules that member states must follow without deviation, otherwise, severe sanctions await. We may like or dislike Hungary’s local politics and way of life, but certainly, no one has the right to punish Hungarians for it and belittle their country. The same applies to Slovenia. Let’s stick to the principles of a voluntary union and not start creating an empire-like formation! Unfortunately, democracy is a concept that the current European Commission can twist, just like the curvature of a banana.
The European Commission as an opaque bureaucracy machine
The Union, which was supposed to contribute to the development of Europe, has gradually become a problem child, whose commandments are increasingly being circumvented. European Union Ombudsman Emily O’Reilly complains that the opacity of the European Commission, led by Ursula von der Leyen, has worsened over time. According to the supervisory ombudsman, political advisers have seized power in the commission, who have enormous power over von der Leyen. Recalling how a failed prime minister found a comfortable, well-paid job close to von der Leyen, it is not hard to imagine the level of competence of the staff there. The stagnant environment of the commission is clearly shown by the fact that in more than ten years of service, von der Leyen has not found time to meet with the supervisory ombudsman and his representatives, nor are the documents needed by the ombudsman’s office for supervision and pointing out shortcomings provided. The European Parliament acknowledges its inability to oversee the commission, and even the European Court cannot obtain documents from von der Leyen’s office. This is the dictatorial behavior of an emerging federal state, or should it be called a banana republic. Apparently, a solution to the problem is coming soon, as the grumpy ombudsman O’Reilly will be replaced by the more obedient Anjinho, thanks to the commission’s excellent lobbying. Criticism will disappear, and Leyen’s sun can shine undisturbed. There is nothing new under the sun, where power, if unchecked, goes to the head. Unfortunately, the whole of Europe, including us, will suffer, having to live in a banana—or was it a cucumber—union.
Vsevolod Jürgenson
